Time to be real: I’m in a place where I’m full of ideas and energy–personal, business, and creative endeavors are calling out to me. The photo above essentially shows how I feel about all these ideas–I just want to throw glitter in the air and get STARTED. But…because of things beyond my control/realistic timelines/etc. I can’t start them yet. This drives me 100% crazy. I’m NOT one to sit and wait for circumstances to be perfect to pursue a dream or idea–I like to leap. I’m NOT one to let a dream remain a dream–I put a plan to it and make it happen. I’m NOT one to believe that circumstances define me–it’s how I respond response that makes the difference.
But truly. This time, I’m stuck waiting at the starting line. I squirmed under this reality for a while–imagine a moth trapped in someone’s hands, wildly beating it’s wings but unable to get free. Have you ever felt this way? So fired up, but can’t.quite.move.yet.
I had a particularly squirmy day the other day. I had to quit what I was doing and just get a breath of fresh air. I sat on the deck of my favorite lakeside coffee shop and journaled ferociously <—-yes, it’s possible to journal ferociously. The longer I journaled, the more I felt my breathing return to normal, my heart rate slow, and my mind calm. I do believe that it’s vitally important to step up, take responsibility, and take action in life. But I also know that when it comes to the Lord and what he’s teaching me, in acceptance, lies peace. Sometimes patience, faith, and reflection are exactly what’s needed–more so than action. I’m trying desperately to accept–not squirm.
I’d love to tell you that I have an inspirational, nicely worded summary for the lesson I’m learning, but I don’t yet. Maybe I never will. The point is, He’s changing me. When it comes down to it, I’m grateful to be in a place of uncomfortable learning. I’m grateful to be shaped and molded and transformed by His hands. I’m grateful that the Lord loves His children enough to change us–make us more like him. I’m realizing, our human desires to do, create, and change our world for the better is God-breathed. But our efforts are minute and fading unless multiplied exponentially by His power.